look for me here:

if u guys wanna look for more of my updates, i'll be here:

http://xiner-at-doodledots.blogspot.com/


its nth-to-do-ness. im bored. so i changed :S i guess. it's my old blog, onli on a diff add.

at Changi Airport T3 nw. was gonna study. so ... hai. was jz talking to M. yes i noe im selfish. im sry im so selfish. ive said this to kw, n i said this to u and ill stand by my decision. i need to noe who i am. wad i want. who i wanna be. i need to know who i am to be able to know who i wanna be, and to know what i want. out of life, out of my relationships.

i can't expect anyone to love me if even i can't see in myself who i am and what's in me for ppl to love. i cant expect anyone to love me if i dont love myself. at this point in time, my confidence and esteem in myself is so low that i have absolutely no idea who i truly am. everything that's happened in my life is haunting me now. and the one that haunts me the most if, of course, wat happened in sec sch. the one single event has broken me down so much. i had no clear idea until now. when i really need to know what's going on and what i am. ive been thinking about all these stuffs. i noe i'll never be the same. and this point of my life will probably be the one that truly defines my (near) future. until the nxt time i need to organise myself and my life.

i dont think im worthy of anyone's love at this point in time. i urge you, don't love me now. for im selfish. i'm only thinking about "me" now. im not worthy yet. it's been one and a half mths, M (tho i know you won't be reading this) i nvr expected tt u'll still be thinking abt me or still be loving me. everything u've said led me to think otherwise. im sry im selfish. i know i am. guess im jz a self-centred selfish freak. only now do i realise, you loved me in your own way. a way that i didn't see how. a way that i nvr realised that you did. but, dont love me now. i dont understand, why i cant show u concern as a friend. im sry i had to hurt u becos of my own selfishness. i realise, too, that no matter how many "sorry"s i say, it wouldnt help things, it wldnt ease aniting, n everything's jz gonna be the same. but i still have to say it.


often in a melancholic mood these days. thinking about stuffs. stuffs tt i shldnt be thinking about now. i shld be thinking about my studies. but im nt. n tt sux. if only guarantees tt my GPA will be even lower than ever. hai. i need to get my head into my books. i need to get buried in my books. i really need to. and i swear i will start tonight. no more procrastinating now. i shld concentrate on my books.