doc says.....

have just been to the doc's again. last diagnosis (last week) he said it's gastritis and (i quote):"if it doesn't get better after this round of medication we might have to send u to hospital for a scope".
scope i.e. endoscope. haiz. n mom n dad's scaring me in different ways tho.

mom's been scaring me about hw they're gonna put a tube with a bulb at the end to see the insides of ur digestive tract n hw uncomfortable it's gonna be (cos u gotta kinda like swallow the whole thing). i mean, of course its not gonna be a large bulb n everything like that. but.. its a scary thought - kinda. i dont like foreign stuff in my throat.

n dad's been scaring me abt hw his bro got diagnosed with gastric cancer at the age of 27 (he passed away by 33 - i wasn't even born yet). i mean, im not so suay lar. but knowing that uve got such a strong family history (all my relatives who have passed - both maternal n paternal - have all died frm cancer. mainly colon n stomach cancer. haiz.) its scary. i think. n seriously, i dont eat very healthily. if im honest with myself, id say my diet sux.

not to mention im pretty broke. if i go for the scope, i wouldnt haf money to buy stuff. they're not for me tho. dont keep thinking i spend so much on myself wors! actually, i scrimp quite a lot these days.

plus i dont like gg hospital. went hospital so much wen grandma was there. esp grandma went SGH gastro dept too! omg. blk5. haiz. she was always at gastro, onco, and uro. haiz.

and i dont think there's anything seriously wrong with me lar. maybe just too big-sized onli. tts it. i think. haiz. dont really wanna think about it. i just dont feel like going for the scope. migraine's prolly coming back. maybe i shld get some slp n forget about my assignments (2reports due this week and i so have not started) n forget abt everything. haiz. HAIZ.

my dear stomach, can you please stop throwing ur tantrums and stop refluxing so i can get a night's slp? its horrible to have to wake up in the middle of the night even with stilnox.

actually, im having a pretty negative week arent i? haiz.