qx's housewarming bbq

this is a late update on qx's housewarming bbq.

we went to his new hse for the bbq! its pretty "exciting" met alot of ppl. ok, he invited approx 15 friends, n i only knew one of them. so inc qx, i only knew 2ppl there. haiz. i wasnt in the mood n i was contemplating whether to go cos i was quite emotionally unstable (n ive been proven tt i shldnt really have gone. ok, i should've been in more control of my emotions).

sry i dont haf any pics.

but his house is "5storeys" high (the tallest building in tt area) with a carpark tt can park at least 2cars in the shade. and it has 2 (or was it 3) patches of gardens. and a huge kitchen tt my mom will personally lurve. theres a wonderful wonderful balcony on the top floor n can see all the way to yew tee (northwards) and near bukit timah (to the side). it's a windy place, so heat is no problem.

when we went, it was partially unfurnitured so its kind of spacious. but i wldnt know if it'll be the same when all the furniture gets in. and the master bedroom has a huge toilet (with jacuzzi tub!!!) if u think the toilet i have is big, that toilet is easily twice/thrice that size. and i think there's a walk-in wardrobe somewhere around.

and the dog. omg the dog. he's just beautiful. he's absolutely gorgeous. cant take my eyes off the dog. haiz. i am, in all honesty, a dog and cat lover.

but tho it was fun (we played poker games thanks to hamidi who brought the cards *i think*) n it was nice meeting other ppl, i was seriously in a totally anti-social mood ydae n i think i carried myself quite badly becos of that. *haiz* there's my flaw coming through loud and clear. but i joined in the games n laughed with them. tho there was two periods of time i lost myself in my thoughts staring out into the open sky n everything just came pouring in and all my tears went pouring out. which was exactly the reason why i didnt wanna go in the first place. haiz. i feel so sorry to qx cos of tt. n i might haf scared his friends too.

thanks hamidi for being there to listen to me. im sry i cant do much for u. cos idk wads gg on. but i wont probe. i will be here if u ever need a listening ear. u noe that right? just like u will listen to me wen i had probs. btw, all the best of luck for ur date (u n shukri's!) im sure u two will get attached soon :)

n qx, hope u cleared it up with ur ex she noes who u like doesnt she? :) n i wish u all the best too! for u n her. have faith. he told me:"u cant have faith if u haf fear". so dont fear, have faith, and do ur best. :) i noe u'll do well lar.

yes you were right in saying that i cant have faith if i have fear. but i dont have faith now cos i'm so fearful. that this is going to be it. whenever i feared, i always reminded myself of wad u said n i put it all away and held on to the faith with all i had. i want to feel that sense of conviction again. tho i know u haf lots of female friends/gan meis, i had faith n conviction. i want to cont being like that. i want to know for sure that this is not going to be it just like that.