first day of totally cutting the meds isnt really working i guess. threw up lots of bile in the morning :S (and i wonder if anyone would care actually, just wanted to whine)
disappointment - check
sadness - check
wretchedness - check
desperation - check
what else did i miss? this seems to be my life these days.
yixin - trying to crawl slowly out of the misery hell-hole. will i succeed? i have faith - i guess.
ppl, i noe my life seems really complicated and like crap now. and i guess it really is.
yixin - trying to pick myself up again. will i succeed? i know i will. but the valley seems so low now, and the mountains i need to climb are so high. i am a little disoriented, a little lost, a little desperate. but i know ill get there somehow. somehow - i dont know how. sometime - i dont know when.
does yixin regret her initial decision? she probably does. but she chooses not to look at it. it makes everything easier for me. cos i dont wanna regret. and if i keep looking back, i cant move forward. ultimately, i know, You havent really changed yet. just wants everything back to the way it was. but, i hope you realise tt its not possible. nth will ever be the same, wei. nothing.
swore i wouldnt cry again. those salty tracks on my cheeks ... tears? it's not easing any of the pain, any of the hurt. what's it trying to wash away? isnt salt supposed to be having antibacterial properties and used in saline washes to get rid of those minute-sized moving stuff? but why is the salt on my cheeks not helping? is the hurt too deep? or did i try to bury it somewhere so deep so i wouldnt feel it, and now that i feel it, idk where it's coming from?
the salty tracks on those cheeks ... mine ... ?
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